6:37 p.m. - Thursday, Apr. 27, 2006
The birds
I was walking to the train station this morning and momentarily found myself in the midst (of what I thought) was a horror film.
So much so there was knife wielding music playing in my ears.
So there I am walking along and I notice an animal shaped mound in the distance. I thought maybe it was a hedgehog,or as I got nearer possibly a cat. Whatever it was, it was in a bad way.
I was steeling myself up to have to walk by it...(eek eek eek - thats the knife wielding music)...
fortunately it was only a mangy stuffed toy, but for a little while I felt physically sick.
Later on I saw a dead pigeon on the road - I am sorry to say that I did not mind about the dead pigeon. The town I work in is full of the feathery vermin, who take particular joy at dive bombing you in the street. I once saw one practically fly off with a pasty a girl was trying to eat.
Naturally, with all these feathery fiends flying around I am worried that I might catch bird flu. However I did get an email at work the other day advising me what to do if I find a dead bird...which I really ought to read. Actually I am a tad worried about this because the email was entitled "What to do if you find a dead bird at work" - I work in an office... I have a Hitchcockian nightmare playing in my mind. One day I will be merrily going about my business in the office when a whole host of feathery fiends will fly in through an open window and give me bird flu.
I stole a Daily Mail newspaper that someone had left on the train this morning and in it was an article that proves birds are going to take over the world...Starlings can apparantly master the rules of grammar. Starlings will probably teach the rest of the bird world the rules of grammar and parrots, blackbird and budgies will use this knowledge to capture us put us in cages or throw stale bread at us in the park. I very rarely buy the Daily Mail, but like I say as it was was going begging I pilfered it. There was plenty about Deputy PM John Prescott's affair. I had to laugh though as i was flicking through the paper at Richard Littlejohn's column which was titled: LITTLE JOHN:The man who invented Prescott's nickname Wow that really makes me want to read Littlejohn's work...Littlejohn invented tye nickname Two Jags, on account of the two jaguar cars Prescott owns... took a lot to come up with that one! Couldn't be bothered to read any more. Another article I skimmed gave the useful advice of how to woo a new lover. One idea is to "Share a joke or engineer a comic situation, such as learning a new dance, while one of you is blindfolded" Ok , will get my clown suit out pronto.
